After Dad died, I kept his ledger lit. Chasing closure with every transaction—proof, apology, a fucked up vigil, one last try for trust from the dead.
Category: Blog
Witness Work: Love’s Muscle Memory After Loss
I thought knowing the why of it could’ve saved him. But mercy is realizing that trying so hard was the real love all along.
Confession isn’t Closure, Silence isn’t Safety
Part III is a loop: confession, silence, hope, repeat. Writing it means reliving that painful waiting; truth without closure, love without repair.
2018: the Art of Looking Away
New-gf glow and sun-soaked selfies hid Dad’s first subtle slide. I ignored my gut, but Ch. 19 won’t let me look away from the skid marks I pretended not to see.
Lies Louder than Truth: the Quiet Cost of Love
I swallowed the truth so Dad could heal; she cranked up the blame, too busy guarding her version to bother with his recovery.
So Your Ex Thinks You’re a Demon: the Myth of Breakup Closure
If closure is what you’re after, lower your expectations. Cuz it turns out, over-enthusiasm isn’t caulk, and some breakups end with a demon instead of a reason.
We Beastly Women: Mythical Metaphors
We Beastly Women don’t always roar—sometimes we sheath our claws and burn anyway.
Protecting Dad’s Feelings Cost Me My Own
I thought protecting Dad’s feelings was right. It wasn’t. It was quiet self-abandonment. If you tiptoe around someone’s feelings long enough, you lose your own.
I’ll Share, Probably: Smells like ’99
Mom found Dad’s old glove and sent me a picture. Cue memory flood, guilt spiral, and eventual semi-enlightenment. I might even let Libby have it. That’s growth, right?
The Mirror Shows His Face (And It’s Mine)
What if the habits I judged in my dad are the ones I’m building for myself? Writing is my salvation—but could it also be my cave?