I saved the advice, forgot the advice, then lived long enough to understand why I’d saved it in the first place. Turns out knowing a thing and believing it are nowhere near the same.
Tag: addiction
The Warped Mirror We Inherit
One generation drinks. The next explains the drinking. The next explains the explaining. Everybody feels more evolved, and somehow the family’s still f-ed up.
I Wore the Names: What Was Never Mine to Carry
If letting go feels like betrayal, maybe that’s because someone taught her true blue love means holding what hurts even after it starts to burn.
Mannequin Skin (and Memoir Update!)
Mannequin Skin, a 3-part poem, written at the edge of goodbye. You don’t need the memoir to feel it, but soon, you’ll have it. Thanks for reading to the bone.
For the Kids Who Didn’t Win
This isn’t a recovery story. It’s about what’s left for the kids who didn’t win, who loved someone who didn’t make it. We deserve to stop carrying the blame.
His-and-Hers: His Vodka, Her Permission
I hoped someone else was to blame. The math said otherwise. No fraud. Just a his-and-hers tab, a pattern, and the truth that hollowed me out.
Reluctant Scribe: A Job No One Wants You To Do
Every family has a reluctant scribe. If you’re reading this, there’s a chance it’s you. I tried not to be, but my memory’s sticky & my sense of pattern acute.
Lit Ledger: Receipts for the Dead
After Dad died, I kept his ledger lit. Chasing closure with every transaction—proof, apology, a fucked up vigil, one last try for trust from the dead.
Witness Work: Love’s Muscle Memory After Loss
I thought knowing the why of it could’ve saved him. But mercy is realizing that trying so hard was the real love all along.
Confession isn’t Closure, Silence isn’t Safety
Part III is a loop: confession, silence, hope, repeat. Writing it means reliving that painful waiting; truth without closure, love without repair.