I can’t be the only one who’s noticed the pattern: society shifts from one extreme to the other, leaving those of us stuck in the middle with ideological whiplash and a new crick in the neck.
While most noticeable in politics (what historians term “political pendulum swings”), this cyclical trend of reaction and reform affects many aspects of daily living, including how we view the generations that follow us.
Did you ever tell yourself as a kid, When I have kids of my own, I’ll never…? Maybe you were right sometimes, and those memories stuck with you, shaping the parent—or person—you wanted to be. Other times, your parent may have been justified, so you eventually forgot about the moment. But the things that mattered? Those left a mark. E.g., parents who were overly strict might raise adults who swing too far the other way, avoiding discipline altogether.
The best of us try to learn from what hurt us and be better for our kids, but we may stumble to find the right balance, especially if our own equilibrium is skewed.
As a kid, I was constantly told my generation was lazy, entitled, and spoiled. The repetition of that mantra made me resentful—resentful enough to turn my frustration back on the older generation, mocking their inability to adapt to new technology or calling them “boomers” regardless of their actual age. I wasn’t mean; I just felt attacked for being born. It was my way of shifting the blame off myself. And now, as an adult, I realize things are far more complicated than I ever could have imagined as a teen.
Generational blame isn’t new. Even Boomers were called “lazy” back in the 1950s. It’s a ridiculous tradition of sorts—faulting the very children we raise for the problems we all created. Take a step back, and you’ll notice the pattern: overcorrection, reaction, repeat. Each generation pushes for change, often driven by passionate youth, but overcorrections can be made along the way. What begins as progress sometimes spirals into extremes.
Maybe I understand the fiery passion that drives these changes because I’m still in my early thirties—or maybe it’s the hours spent reliving my childhood while writing this memoir. At sixteen, every decision felt monumental, every feeling was the end-all-be-all. I can’t recall how often I would cry just because someone gave me the wrong look in the hallway. That intensity is what drives youth to demand change. It’s hard to be cynical when you’re that young and full of hope, though the Internet has done a lot to dampen their spirits.
But here’s where we, as adults, went wrong: we’ve mostly left it up to them. Instead of making the appropriate changes ourselves, we’ve placed the burden of progress on the shoulders of the young. They’re not equipped to solve problems we’ve had decades to address. We need to break the cycle, not pass the buck. Otherwise, this pattern of “over-correcting” will continue to be the result, and if we’re not careful, things will keep escalating.
The real challenge is recognizing these patterns and learning from them. It’s not about shaming Boomers, Gen X, Millennials, or Gen Z. It’s about breaking free from the pendulum swings and working toward a steady path forward—together.
inspo: the 2024 US presidential election // further thoughts on my last post, The Generation of Imagination // PEW research data // memoir musings // a hat tip to GRRM for my “breaking the wheel” reference in the title
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I love this post! Beautiful, concise and insightful writing – as always. Thank you.
As a true “boomer” – born in 1962 – I genuinely feel a deep sense of guilt over the state of affairs in our country – and the many problems that (I feel) we older generations have left to the younger ones. I have personally felt great warmth for and hope in younger generations – and still do, in fact. That is not to say that I think they have all the answers – or should be left to clean up our mess alone – but in general, I find them less stratified, more open to change and progress and less hardened ideologically into a specific camp.
I also love reading about your own realization that time and maturity do often result in an understanding that the truth is often more nuanced than you might have earlier imagined.
“The real challenge is recognizing these patterns and learning from them.” My favorite line and may I say, from your lips to God’s ears. May we all learn from our past experiences – both those we alone have experienced and those that we have experienced collectively.
I appreciate that feeling of guilt you describe, because I already feel similarly despite only classifying myself as an adult for a couple years. There’s some truth in the belief or general feeling that a previous generation f-ed something up for the rest of us. But we’re all humans, and humans make mistakes—that’s how we grow. I think it’s easy for us to blame the baby boomers, because they are our “wise elders” and have been for some time. We can point to their mistakes more readily because we’ve had the time to take stock of them, learn that something’s not right or doesn’t work, and start course correcting. That doesn’t apply to every scenario, so there’s some lingering resentment.
I feel like I’m not doing enough to make meaningful changes in our world as an individual, leaving it to the next generation to figure out, which is part of that cycle we need to break.
[Edit to add: I didn’t realize until after posting this blog that some of the tech billionaires I assumed were Millennials or younger Gen X are actually Boomers or older Gen X. That surprised me and added another layer to this whole discussion. The lack of guardrails around AI and how hyper-online kids are today feels like our generation’s version of the older generations normalizing smoking (before we’d realized how bad it was for our health). One day, I think we’ll look back at this era with similar disbelief.]
Your blog is like a beacon of light in the vast expanse of the internet. Your thoughtful analysis and insightful commentary never fail to leave a lasting impression. Thank you for all that you do.